"Haltmann [Episode 5] - The SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis" is a lore video and the fifth episode of the SilvaGunner Christmas Comeback Crisis event.
Plot summary Edit
Track list Edit
||Song / track
|0:04 - 0:30
||"The Secretary That Forgot Love" from Kirby Planet Robobot
||The Tower's theme
|0:33 - 1:42
||Plays while Haltmann and the Voice discuss Susie
|1:55 - 2:20
||"Gigabyte Grounds" from Kirby Planet Robobot
||Plays during the first half of the grunts' conversation
|2:21 - 2:57
||Rotten Symphony - LazyTown: The Video Game
||Plays during the "lanky grunt"'s introduction.
|2:58 - 3:09, 4:29 - 4:34
||Wood Man's theme
|3:10 - 3:49
||Plays when Wood Man is captured, and at the end
|3:51 - 4:26
||"Right Behind You" from Team Fortress 2
||Plays when Wood Man and Robbie team up.
|4:35 - 4:42
||"We Are Number One" from LazyTown
||Plays at the end
| To see the transcript, click "Expand".
Meanwhile, in the tower...
HALTMANN: "Sir... the String-Bot production line is a success, with rioting in the city down by 80%."
THE VOICE: "Excellent."
HALTMANN: "The attack on Santa's Workshop is scheduled to begin at three o'clock.
Angry Joe has coordinated a plan to take over the facility. Spherics and Stringbots are being manufactured for the squad as we speak."
THE VOICE: "Excellent. The secrets of Christmas Spirit will be mine..."
THE VOICE: "What is it?"
HALTMANN: "...Has there been any progress on my daughter?"
THE VOICE: "Oh yes, sure. That's coming along just fine. I'll bring her back."
HALTMANN: "That's what you said last time."
THE VOICE: "Yes, and I'm still working on it."
HALTMANN: "Can you at least show me what progress you have made?"
THE VOICE: "Yes, yes. In due time."
THE VOICE: "...I need more robots. Actually, I need a really BIG robot."
HALTMANN: "Excuse me?"
THE VOICE: "You heard me, Haltmann. I need a huge robot. I'm not feeling like we have enough military power."
THE VOICE: "Go and design one, Haltmann. Right now. Base it on Tito Dick or something."
HALTMANN: "You really are quite demanding, Voice!"
THE VOICE: "And you're quite inquisitive, aren't you, Haltmann? Make me a God damned robot, and do not talk back to me like that."
HALTMANN: "...I just want to know what's happening with my daughter. It's been a long time since we last discussed her."
THE VOICE: "You will get your daughter, Haltmann. It's just... taking a while.
Now get out of my office and make me some robots."
Haltmann sighed in defeat as he slinked out of the Voice's office.
While he was making his way to his personal quarters, he walked past the security room and noticed a few images of a Spheric with someone inside.
The rogue Spheric was shown punching a bunch of Patrol-Bots to pieces.
For some reason, it gave him a little spark of hope.
Haltmann wondered if this was all worth it.
* * * *
Meanwhile, just outside the tower...
There was a strange, lanky guard making his way toward the gates that blocked the way out. He walked up to the gatekeeper and started to talk...
???: "Excuse me, my good sir. I have business out of town. May please leave the premises?"
GATEKEEPER: "Haltmann has ordered that all grunts stay inside until further notice."
???: "But I need to leave NOW!"
GATEKEEPER: "No can do, buddy."
The Gatekeeper suddenly noticed something off about the guard...
GATEKEEPER: "You look kinda funn—hey, wait a second! You're not one of us! You—"
With a swift kick, he knocked the Gatekeeper out!
???: "Haha! Nobody outsmarts me, for I am..."
The lanky grunt started to spin around rapidly, until he transformed into a tights-wearing man with a vest, bell bottoms, a pompadour and a huge chin!
ROBBIE: "...Robbie Rotten, Villain Number One!"
Robbie pressed the button to open the gates and made his way out in great strides.
ROBBIE: "Hahaha. Now it's time for me to catch a superhero! I'll bet that nasty SPORTAFLOP is around here somewhere..."
Robbie looked around, eager to cause mischief. He noticed a large robot walking down the road.
ROBBIE: "Perfect! I'll capture this superhero and bring him back to my lair!"
Robbie pulled a net out of thin air.
ROBBIE: "Now to hide..."
WOOD MAN: "shit dude. this sucks. I can't go back to the tower.
maybe there's like... a travelling band or some shit that'll take me in. I can be that ambiguous dude who plays the lute. iunno if people still play lutes, actual—"
Suddenly, Wood Man was caught inside a net!
WOOD MAN: "aw dude what the fuck is this?"
ROBBIE: "I did it! I caught a superhero!"
WOOD MAN: "I ain't nobody's hero dude. but I am pretty nice if you know what I mean"
ROBBIE: "Now to take you back to my lair!"
WOOD MAN: "woah ok that's a little upfront if you ask me"
ROBBIE: "Nonsense! I'll take any hero I want!"
WOOD MAN: "dude you and I both know we don't have time for this. like I said, I'm not a hero lmao"
ROBBIE: "Well then what are you?"
WOOD MAN: "I'm WOOD MAN. a villain from mega man 2. and I'm the coolest and nicest villain there is."
ROBBIE: "No, no, NO! I'm the number one villain around here!"
WOOD MAN: "yeah well good luck trying to uphold that claim lmao"
Wood Man thought to himself for a second. Maybe this guy wasn't so crazy...
WOOD MAN: "hey man... I dunno about you but I think we'd make a good team"
WOOD MAN: "think about it dude. you're the number one villain and I'm the coolest robot master around. we could capture like all the goddamn superheroes ever"
ROBBIE: "Haha! I like the way you think! Mister.. Robot Master!"
WOOD MAN: "call me wood man dude."
ROBBIE: "Alright, Wood Man. Do you know any superheroes we can capture?"
WOOD MAN: "well... Nozomi is out there. if you know who she is."
ROBBIE: "Ah yes, that little brat! She would make a fine addition to my collection!"
WOOD MAN: "...yknow I really doubt you have a collection"
ROBBIE: "Then let's start now!"
Robbie pointed towards the sky.
ROBBIE: "Our villainous partnership begins today! We'll be number one!"
WOOD MAN: "not with this goddamn net still one me"
TO BE CONTINUED
- The description is a reference to President Haltmann's characterization in Kirby Planet Robobot, where he deems everyone on Planet Popstar a "savage".
- This is the first appearance of Robbie Rotten in the series.